If you didn’t know already I have been slowly weaning off my pills since, like, mid-summer. I’ve gone down to only 25 mg a day of Topamax, which practically doesn’t even work for seizure control. So going off is getting kind of hard. I’m getting a bit sicker but I think that possibly after I get completely off it I will feel better. That I just feel sick because the drugs are still in system and I’m not used to the lower dose. I stop taking all medications this coming Saturday.
Over the past couple of months I’ve had a number of seizures. Most of them complex partial but some grand mals in the middle of the night because I’m just sleeping and stuff but then I wake up which is pretty scarey if you ask me. But at least I’m not having a gillion seizures a day or anything.
Even if I have a load of seizures off my meds, I feel like I’d rather not be on any meds because of all the side effects and I think putting something that’s not totally natural into my body is probably not doing it really good. Plus having a seizure once or twice a month isn’t so bad. Compared to like all the side effects I got. Not to say that if you have to take meds that’s like a bad thing – you’re still being really strong and not giving up and stuff which is like really cool.
I’m sorry that I haven’t blogged in a really long time. But I hope that even though this is really tough this is not the best blog in the world it will remind you all that you have friends who care and stuff. Also, I’m a bit whacked out going through withdrawal and such so I apologize for my overuse of the words stuff and like. But as I’m reading this out to my mother (she is my scribe) this is just in my regular lingo so … um, it’s kind of awkward but thanks, Mum, for typing this out.
Anyways, I hope that everyone is having an awesome, like, start of the school or work year. And that they don’t give up on themselves. As a wise man (or maybe it was a woman) once told me: you have epilepsy but it doesn’t have you!